Looking off our back porch directly into the forest is something I’ll never forget. The oak trees extended their arms welcoming my family and me into their familiar embrace. My childhood home was conveniently placed directly beside the New Jersey state forest just walk past our property line and you would enter the trees that held so much life and provided so much for my family.
Appalachian trail through New Jersey
I learned from an early age how to respect the forest. My father taught me the ways to explore, yet stay unknown to the organisms hiding within. From an early age, whenever I had any free time, I would run through the leaves and follow the stream that led to a pond that no one else could easily find. It was all I knew for so long. When I was twelve, my father passed away, and with him left all of the beauty of the woods. I no longer had the desire to spend my days with the frogs and the deer, but rather hiding from them because with every stick that cracked under my feet, I could hear him. I saw him when the fish jumped out of the pond that we fished in not too long ago.
After a year of hiding from my own backyard, my mom decided we needed a change and we moved to Southern California. I had so many dreams of California as I had never been, yet they were quickly squashed when I learned that we were quite literally moving to the desert. No more trees, no deer, no sign of life. As far as the eye could see there was dirt and dust that seemed to never settle. I had never believed that tumbleweeds were a real thing and not fiction from cartoons, yet they rolled past me on my way to school. California was complete and utter desolation and I had never felt farther from home or from my dad.
On a day trip to San Diego with a friend, we decided to visit the La Jolla Tide Pools which is a beautiful little area of secluded beach, not truly meant for swimming, but rather for exploring. I began climbing around the rocks when something pinched my foot. Angrily I stepped back, affronted that anything would pinch me, but upon looking down I realized I had stepped right into a little crab nest and the biggest one had come for revenge.
La Jolla tide pools
Driving home that day I was left with much to think about. At this point, I had lived in California for 4 years and had never seen much presence of nature. It hadn’t occurred to me that the tide pools that I was going to play around in were simply homes for organisms just trying to live their lives. This experience made it clear to me that nature was always going to be there, whether I decided to embrace it or not.
Being older and wiser at this point in my life, I leaned into the idea of nature again. Up until this moment I was struggling to figure out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. I was in the middle of applying for college, simply knowing that I wanted to go when I started to look for biology programs. Further, I started looking into the ecosystems of where these schools were, which is how I ended up in Charleston. I visited once and I immediately knew that this was where I would rekindle the love of trees and forests that I was only beginning to uncover again. Immediately there was an overwhelming sense of familiarity as the trees reached over my head and welcomed me to a new adventure.
Now that I’m here I am able to better pursue what my younger self never dreamed to be a possibility. The day I learned what conservation ecology is was when every other career path disappeared from my mind. The opportunities for research and internships are endless in South Carolina, and specifically Charleston. The idea that I could spend the rest of my life surrounded by what I have always found comfort in is too charming to ignore. Now every time I go to a biology class or simply take a walk past a park, I get to think of the future that I am creating for not only myself but for the creatures that will be helped through my future career.
I sometimes wonder who I would be if I had grown up somewhere else. It would have been a much different childhood, but I wonder if I still would’ve been able to find that connection to nature, but also that connection to my dad who was the one who showed me everything there was to know and answered all the questions I would throw his way. The focus that I’ve had on environmental sustainability has always been there, slowly growing in the background of my life. I know that no matter what, nature will always be there for me, whether I need to explore and have a peaceful moment away from the loud and chaotic world, or simply just to reconnect with someone who has shaped me in every way.
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