In this imitation of Carl Sandburg’s poem “Subway” I attempted to match his form, punctuation, and syllable count. The original poem has a message that is both concise and precise. With just six short lines Sandburg portrays the emotion of downtrodden working men. This imitation poem tries to grasp an alternative image of a gathering of beaten down souls. I chose a common setting for the browbeaten people— some dive bar. ‘Blind pigs’ was the slang name for bars during Prohibition. There are no windows, there is no time and these folks are escaping life through drink and smoke. Attempting to match the quiet intensity of “Subway” really revels the subtle genius in the brief poem; Sandburg captures the feeling of a people by gracefully depicting them traveling home. I learned, from Wikipedia, that Sandburg dropped out of school around ninth grade in order to drive a milk truck. His lack of formal education and his wealth of experience with ‘everyman’ lead Sandburg to be powerfully able to seize a mammoth sensation with such a minimalist fashion. This imitation of Carl Sandburg truly has revealed to me his mastery.
Blind Pigs
WHERE the walls are without windows
And the barman mixes drinks,
The tipplers quaff alone.
The incessant cig smoking
Wanders and wallows over,
And memories finally fade.
THE ORIGINAL POEM:
SUBWAY
DOWN between the walls of shadow
Where the iron laws insist,
The hunger voices mock.
The worn wayfaring men
With the hunched and humble shoulders,
Throw their laughter into toil.
Carl Sandburg & Marilyn Monroe
And just because, here’s a picture of Sandburg and Monroe. This reminds me of another great picture of Monroe reading Leaves of Grass. But back to your post. I’m always happy to hear when the act of imitation enables a deeper understanding of what’s happening in the poem itself. T’Rese imitated this poem last week, casting it into the future world of computer technology and the numbness created there. Though you avoid the technological echo as we move from subway to bar, you still capture a sense of the weariness and lack of connection and exhaustion of Sandburg’s poem. I also appreciate how closely to followed the textures of Sandburg’s work, down to the alliteration in the second to last line. Well done!
A note on formatting: when you cut and paste from word, “clear formatting” first. That way, your post won’t appear in a different font from others.