[I, Being Born a Woman and Pissed Off]
I, being born a woman and pissed off
By all the needs and notions of your kind,
Am urged by your close proximity to find
your person distasteful, and feel a certain dread
to bear your fumbling conversation upon my head:
So ardently is your cheap cologne stinging my eyes
and your gaudy jeans and foul mouth alike,
leave me once again annoyed, unimpressed.
To think not of me as a person, however a piece of ass
that you’ve three times successfully touched,
I shall regard you with anger, or a gross
gagging in my throat –let me make it plain:
I find this desperate do-si-do enough reason
to never look your way again.
[I, Being Born a Woman and Distressed] : Edna St. Vincent Millay
I, being born a woman and distressed
By all the needs and notions of my kind,
Am urged by your propinquity to find
Your person fair, and feel a certain zest
To bear your body’s weight upon my breast:
So subtly is the fume of life designed,
To clarify the pulse and cloud the mind,
And leave me once again undone, possessed.
Think not for this, however, the poor treason
Of my stout blood against my staggering brain,
I shall remember you with love, or season
My scorn wtih pity, — let me make it plain:
I find this frenzy insufficient reason
For conversation when we meet again.
Very entertaining contemporary take on Millay’s poem here, Sydney! I especially liked your transformation of line 6’s “fume of life” into “cheap cologne.” I also found your change in line 2 (from “my kind” to “your kind”) key to the entire message of the poem in our contemporary context. Today’s women do not feel the same pressure to find men to support them or even the societal pressure to find companionship, which seems to be Millay’s premise here: that even though the man assumes that she needs him, he is not up to par. In your poem, it is the woman making the assumption that the man needs her for reasons that are purely sexual, thus placing him in a barbaric light.
Great imitation, though I would have appreciate a bit more framing on your part–a description of what you were trying to do and why. I mean, I get it, but that’s part of the assignment–to offer a sort of close reading of your own poem as it imitates and responds to (and in your case updates) the subject poem.
One question I had: I know sonnets can be VERY hard to write, but I’m curious why you didn’t choose to keep the general iambic pentameter metrical scheme going.