I turn my car stereo up louder than usual, music blasting through the open sunroof, reaching for the stars in the night sky above. The song ends, and the song “Layla” by Derek & The Dominos begins to play, the sudden and gripping electric guitar intro immediately transforming my car into a rock concert. Upon listening for 25 seconds, I can hear and feel the song’s combination of angst, anger, frustration, lust, love, desperation, and passion swirling all around. This is one of the two songs adequate enough to add to my April Spotify playlist, though I don’t know the rest of the songs on the album, and I do not recall how I came about the song in the first place, perhaps it found me. I feel the music more than the lyrics, but by now the instrumentals are painted in my memory, so at last, I’ve learned the song’s meaning too. When I listen, I become Layla, a 1970s model wearing circular glasses as my hair glides in the wind.
The song “Layla” is by Eric Clapton, written about a model named Pattie Boyd who was married to one of his best friends, George Harrison. Eric was madly in love with Pattie; in the song, one can truly feel how his obsession with her had consumed him. The first half of the song is pure frustration and determination, asking, I’m begging, darling please / Layla / Darling, won’t you ease my worried mind? But what makes the song truly touch my heartstrings is the second half of the song after 3:11, where the music turns more heartfelt and lovely. The second half sounds like gratitude for the imperfect act of loving someone, despite the high joys and low sorrows. It reminds me of the last scene in La La Land, where they’re playing out everything that could have been if one decision had been different, such as if Pattie had chosen Eric instead of George in the first place, would they have worked out? But if that had happened, the song wouldn’t even exist.
Upon doing further research on the background of the song, it’s painful to learn that while Pattie and Eric eventually married, he emotionally and physically abused her. After “Layla” was released, Pattie stayed loyal to George for years, as Eric Clapton’s heroin and alcohol addiction worsened. He blamed her, or rather his inability to have her, as the cause of it. But, when George Harrison continued to cheat and emotionally abuse Pattie due to his obsession with spirituality, she left him, leading to the abusive marriage with Eric Clapton. How is it that such amazing songs and albums can come from people treat others so horribly? This is a reoccurring theme throughout history when it comes to art and specifically music, the question may never be answered.
I did not use generative AI to write this essay.