Coleman Benner
I did not use generative AI to write this post.
Image of artist, J. Cole
Performance- Winter Wonderland (2014 Forest Hills Drive 10 Year Anniversary Edition)
Im home for the weekend for my cousins wedding and I put my headphones on while in the car to the chuppah ceremony. I look out the car window, the splashes of graffitied colors and gray concrete whiz by. Im kind of numb to the joyous circumstance, and Im not sure why. Ive always had trouble conjuring emotions for happy events, I feel like the more premeditated and anticipated it is, the less it excites me. I still put a smile on to be polite, but it gets exhausting at times. That’s why I find comfort in the melancholy and somewhat hopeful string samples covered in trap beats. Im not experiencing the struggle that Cole talks about in his verses about his turbulent relationship with father figures, but I find that own struggle with myself sometimes. Im not unhappy at all, and I have a great life, but I feel kind of cold most of the time and Im always thinking about bigger things. He really goes into what it’s like to come from a frigid place, somewhere that doesn’t help you fuel any of your dreams. He talks about taking risks and shots in life, and how it’s all on you. Ive always felt this, even out of a prosperous and mostly healthy home life. It’s all about embracing the struggles and growing from it. Employing some sort of hopeful attitude, whilst being able to critique your situation heavily. Winter Wonderland delves heavily into the contradicting message of a “winter wonderland” which is often associated with the original Bing Crosby song. This song is focused around the purity and overall joy of the holiday season. J.Cole flips this message, and shows a darker and in fact a more “wintery” side of it. He shows us that a lot of kids aren’t really part of this winter wonderland, and have been born in to a lot more problems. He talks about how one of his friends was shot right before Christmas, and then his mom says go do the dishes. It just gives me a look into how cold and unforgiving some peoples upbringings are. I didn’t have to grow up like that, so after listening to this song many, many times, Ive learned a bit about myself. Its not wrong that I feel distant sometimes, and I feel like my mind is looking bigger things and places, but I should recognize that I need to appreciate the people around me and ground myself for them. I should never take my life for granted, but nor should I let my ambitions feel like a disrespect to my upbringing, like it’s something I want to leave behind or move far away from.