Nipple Jesus as a film, with a twist

By Benjamin Roberts

For this adaptation, I chose to make the story Nipple Jesus by Nick Hornby into a real film. The film would begin before the story does, maybe as he was still working at the club where the main character Dave is a bouncer, to give a little more background and time for Dave to introduce himself to us as the audience. The original story mentions how Dave got the job at the art museum because he promised Lisa, his wife, that he would give up the late-night work he was doing. To give the story more of a hook, the film version of this story would begin in the midst of an argument between Dave and his wife, and the film would exaggerate how much time his work is taking away from not just his relationship with his wife, but also with his kids. Dave would still have his negative (but in my opinion, funny) personality throughout the story, and the next day, he would be at the job’s initiation, as the story originally begins. Throughout the story, Dave will have illusions back to the bouncing job at the club, since he will grow to miss it. This is of course, before the installation of the Nipple Jesus work by Martha Marsham, the artist in the story. One of the major changes I would make to the story would be how Dave interprets the work from the start. I think it would be an interesting spin if Dave liked the work of art he was assigned to from the get-go, given his very egotistical and apparent negative outlook on life and the things around him. I think this would be a good surprise for the audience given Dave’s stature and attitude. Because of this, his appreciation of the work by the time the main event happens would be much stronger, and he would be affected more if anything were to happen to it.

The main thing that I think would really sell this story as a movie and add a more dramatic plot would be at the time when Dave escorts one of the protestors out of the building when the rest of the people still at the exhibit destroyed the work of art. I think as a good plot twist, Dave would’ve never ended up escorting the man out and instead, he always stood his ground and was in turn overcome by the entire crowd who destroyed the painting in front of his eyes. Since, as we know, Dave actually gained an appreciation for Marsham’s work by the time it was destroyed, and I think if he had to go through being trampled over at his job by possibly tens of people, the ending scene of him and the artist would have been a lot more dramatic and fueled with anger, more than it was in the original story. After this event occurs in the film, another element that could add to the plot is that after the museum closes, Dave could stay after hours to obtain the footage recorded by the camera and destroy it, as a form of revenge against the artist, since, based on his character, this seems like something Dave would definitely think of doing. I feel like Dave wanted to unleash his anger at the end of the story, and he didn’t really get to do this, so this can be his outlet for releasing this anger. The film could also end at a very tense moment for the two (as films or shows tend to do) to get the audience hooked for a ‘Part 2.’

In terms of filming and soundtracks, I feel like treating the character of Dave and his scenario as a whole like a comedy would be entertaining, and obviously having him as the center of attention. I think it would be a cool element to add flashbacks to his previous job or add foreshadowing to events (like the stealing of the recording) that he could draw up in his mind would add to this comedic effect. I think treating the film as if his life was constantly negative and emphasizing his verbiage in conversations would really tie together the film. I think a soundtrack containing mischievous songs along with some over-exaggerated sad songs would give the film some more character as well. The narration, if there were to be any, would be Dave talking to us as the audience in moments of thought, or any other similar times throughout the film. I think these plot changes and new direction on how the story ends up would combine together to make a pretty entertaining film to go and see!