Charlie Downey
Stańczyk
Insomniac
In calm’s a bash
Facade hiding faces
A bra missing laces
Supports without an edge of pleasure
Impressionist
The voice enlists
Kills thrill
Bombs spill
Ink on ledger of a censor
Indiscretion
In tights of red shunned
Closet of a palace
Prophet for the callus
For what? For shame or leisure?
Degradation
Resignation
To a hole
For a troll
In the wall
Entanglement
The jangle quit
Concern in the hands
Aversion from the bands
What is his source of pressure?
______________________________________
Mediocrity
Choice of flee or leave?
The jury’s out
Come back with doubt
In regard to guilty measure
The artwork that I chose to write about was Jan Matejko’s Stańczyk. When writing this poem I tried to focus on the emotion of the figure and the questions that a reader would have when viewing this painting. Ideally, I think I would cut the final stanza starting with ‘Mediocrity,’ but because of the word requirement, I needed another stanza. Choosing to have the 1st, 3rd, and 5th stanzas follow the same rhythm and rhyme scheme separated with irregularities in the 2nd and 4th gives the poem a non-monotonous cadence, I think. I wanted to avoid writing a poem with a ‘sing-songy’ feel and the irregularities made that much easier. However, to make the poem feel cohesive I wanted the final words of each stanza to rhyme with every other. I chose to have the first 2 opening words of stanzas to be ‘titles/characters’ and then shift to more emotional nouns to emulate the scenario of a person seeing the painting for the first time. When first exposed to a work we often look at it objectively and then search for a more emotional context.
I really enjoy how you begin each stanza with a single word, It gives the poem a really unique sound. You do a good job of emulating the emotions of the man in the painting, I especially like the line “degradation, resignation.” Overall the flow is very good, it is captivating to read and does a good job of embodying the painting.
I have never seen this painting before, but I find it and your poem very intriguing. Your poem makes me feel like I’m there with the man. I like your syntax, it feels very fitting with the vibe of the painting. The poem does have a nice flow to it too.
Like Juliet, I also love the way you start each stanza with a single word. I think that, combined with the way you structured the rhymes almost makes it read like slam poetry which feeds into the strong emotions you were able to convey. I love the lines, “Entanglement
The jangle quit” because it reminds the reader of the dichotomy between the humor a jester is supposed to bring and the sadness he is clearly feeling. Your writing reflects the painting well and I really enjoyed reading it!
I love the painting you chose, and I love how you interpreted it in your poem. Like the previous comments, adding a word to every beginning of a stanza was very clever! I could understand the way that the jester is feeling from the way you wrote this poem.
I really enjoyed reading this poem. I loved the way you constructed your stanzas to have the 3rd and 4th lines to rhyme. I think that grabs, in a technical stance, tension to the piece and seeing the portrait. I haven’t heard of this piece before, but I liked that you used each first line in each stanza to show the exposure of this man, or the message behind those words. It indicates a lot of fixation on those predications of a person and the weight we carry with it. You have a very talented way of using word choice to exemplify your piece and message. It made it very believable to understand the emotional weight that the man in the portrait is feeling and you did a great job revealing that.