By Zane Hull
My dark coat envelops me in a soft hug, protecting me from the cold of the outside; the snow falls softly onto the ground, drifting through the sky in some unspoken, secret rhythm, each drift a sway in an unknown dance routine. A single snowflake lands on my nose; though it melts quickly, it still leaves a long-lasting impression, the tip of my nose now wet and cold. As a shiver runs down my spine and I pull my coat closer to my body, desperate to savor the warmth it provides, I wonder briefly if I have ever left such an impression on anyone.
“The Magpie,” by Claude Monet, 1868-1869
I decided to write more about how this poem made me feel, rather than what it depicted. The way that the solitary magpie in the middle of the painting leaves such an impression on the reader is not unlike the way that a snowflake leaves an impression on you before melting away. It is brief, but noticeable. There also may be some unintentional wordplay at hand, as the way that Monet used color for shadows in this painting ended up revolutionizing the Impressionist movement at the time. I really wanted to try and capture the beauty of nature that Monet easily depicts in this piece as well; gentle words like savor, sway, softly, and drifting were purposeful choices, as well as the multiple commas. There are not any line breaks, as I felt it would take away from the flow of the piece, which is meant to flow naturally like a snowflake.
This is genuinely amazing. The way you spoke about how the image made you feel was quite poetic. I like how you adapted into a personal take rather than analysis that may not have been as engaging to read. The detail made it so much easier as the reader to genuinely picture and feel it as if we were there. It was very touching when at the end you wondered if you left that impression anyone and that was so relatable.
Your poem was very good. I liked how you truly caught the essence of being out in the cold. Your descriptions truly put me in the place of being in the snow, which is very good for writing. I enjoyed the way you wrote this poem as well as it had a very poetic feel. I also enjoy the flow of the piece and found the no line breaks very unique.