The Quarrel- Language and Format

Through DiPrima’s language and format, she conveys her anger of her partner in a way that is spread through every line.

Her language is informal, relying more on a conversational type of written word. This feels like a poem you would write in your diary, angry at your partner who is just not understanding your feelings. In fact, I have been the woman in the poem.  The way she ties in lack of punctuation, except for periods is interesting to me. She uses dialogue throughout the majority of this poem, linked to her thoughts such as “I am sick I said to the woodpile of doing dishes. I am just as lazy as you.” Leaving out the quotations, it leaves it up to the reader to determine what is actually communicated and what she wants to communicate. Even though she distinguishes I thought and I said, I think the lack of punctuation helps reiterate that no matter what she is saying to Mark, it does not hold any weight to him. The anger of wanting him to see her work as equal all while she is addressing this, she is distracting herself by the fire. I think she adds in distraction as a way to lessen the confrontation of her anger, as she knows this cycle will just repeat itself again. Pairing the distraction with the lack of punctuations helps emphasize how unserious Mark views this conversation, and I believe ultimately, how she views the conversation. The only two times it is inferred he talks, he either corrects her feelings to what he believes is right- she is just bugged not furious- then at the end where he compares himself to a famous and incredibly talented painter, both creating a sense of self importance and dominance that encompasses his character. The second to last stanza creates almost a rambling type of feeling in the way she words it, like when you walk away from a fight and have a thousand things running through your mind but never say any of them.

I believe the poem allows women to have a personal relationship with the main character. Though unnamed, most women I know have felt belittled by a man they cared about and their endeavors not seen as worthy or important as theirs. The frustration she has in knowing the cycle will repeat, and the audacity he has to compare himself to Picasso, are all things I personally have experienced, just in my own way. This poem reminds of the song “labour” by Paris Paloma where she says “Just an appendage, live to attend him/ So that he never lifts a finger.” It is voiced by a single author, yet I think it is every woman’s voice, and every partner’s voice, who is not appreciated, seen as less than, and truly is not heard. The recognition of “what a god damned concession it was for me to bother to tell you…” inferring that the discussion in itself was huge, much less his dismissal of the problem.

As a woman, I feel as though the tone and mood are relatively the same. We are introduced to Mark with the verb furious attached to how the author feels about him. Then, the next line makes me furious at him, telling her how she actually feels instead of listening to her. Ending her poem with his comment about Picasso, reignites that anger toward him. Her second to last stanza purges those feelings, expressing part of what she wants to say to him, to herself. Each lines seems to build and build, ending in a comment that would send me over the edge if ever said to me as a response to being frustrated. The way DiPrima writes her lines, I believe, helps enforces these feelings. All lines are singular, except for three sections. Two of those are when she is distracted by the fire, giving an almost downtrodden feeling to them, where she is hoping for a response yet is still waiting. One section is her anger being expressed of being compliant with still doing the dishes and knowing the cycle will repeat. Using a singular line gives the reader or speaker a way to almost clip the words. Her tempo with this seems to be steady yet forceful, which is in accordance with the singular lines. I think this ties in with her verbal textures and sound patterning as well, where she creates a distinctive pattern of forceful moving forward. I think just as though she forcefully has the conversation with Mark and forcefully does the dishes, the poem forcefully moves from one line to the next. DiPrima does not use smooth language but incorporates harsher language and even says god damned, creating a harsher environment of words. She could be more demure in this poem yet she uses her anger as the base for mood, tone, verbal textures, tempo, rhythm, and meter.

Did anyone else feel the same anger as her in this poem? I felt like I could truly relate to her. Maybe it is because I am a novice in the world of poetry and analyzing it, but I could feel her emotion on the page.